Cake for Breakfast

After my junior year of high school I attended a summer ballet program in Duluth and stayed at the downtown YWCA dormitory.   Because my weekends were free I was able to take a Greyhound bus up the shore to stay at my great Aunt Elna and great Uncle Olaf's cabin.

On those wonderful weekends I slept on a day bed in the corner of the old living room area with its textured grasscloth wallpaper, a bookcase next to the stone fireplace, and two large picture windows facing Lake Superior.  Each morning Aunt Elna brought me a cup of coffee in bed, along with a cookie.  She said, "I like a little something sweet with my coffee."   

I was a 16 years old girl and like most girls I liked sweets, enjoyed sweets, relished sweets!  But I was also a ballet dancer so I struggled with what I now know is cognitive dissonance, two opposing thoughts or desires, at once.  For me it sounded like: I love pecan pie!  I hate pecan pie!  I think it was around this time that I began telling myself that I really didn't like sweet things, that I preferred salty things.   I wasn't conscious of starting this belief, but I was certainly conscious of the pressure to be thin, stay thin, diet to be thin, thin is better, good dancers are thin....  As a result,  I'd tried to eliminate the category of A Little Something Sweet from my life.

I wish I could go back and tell my sweet 16-year-old self, "It's okay, you can be a dancer and enjoy a little something sweet."  

I can't do that, but I did rediscover all things sweet with some help from Queen City Bakery in Sioux Falls (this might have been 2010?).  I remember walking into Queen City for the first time and reading their chalk board announcing that they use Butter, Heavy Cream, Sugar and Other Fresh Ingredients.  I thought this is my kind of bakery because good quality ingredients create wonderful baked goods.   After enjoying not only their mini quiches, but their wonderful bars, cookies and cakes for about a year, I thought, "I love sweets!  Why on earth did I ever think I didn't?!" 

After uncovering that false belief, for the past few years I've been baking my own bars and experimenting with recipes and watching YouTube videos on baking and sharing the happiness that comes from "a little something sweet."   I so enjoy the creative process of tweaking a recipe, using good ingredients, making it look beautiful, sharing it with others, and yes, taking photos of my desserts.  All of this has been a happy-curious experiment for me.

Most mornings I have something sensible for breakfast: peanut butter toast, yogurt with homemade preserves, or hot oatmeal.  But if there's fresh cake in the house, why would I deny myself that pleasure and happiness?  And of course, it's not just about the cake; it's about uncovering places in my self that need my compassion, understanding and healing.  All of which, as I've discovered through my happy-curious experiments, leads me to greater happiness.  Which is the point of this post, and the goal of my blog.

Chocolate-chip, walnut, pistachio, date cake with
chocolate ganache and black coffee for breakfast.

A Happy-Curious Experiment                                                                                                          

Is there something that you enjoyed as a child, that for some reason you eliminated from your life?  Take a moment and visualize yourself as a child, doing something that made you feel good...   Maybe it was eating dessert, or bike riding, or swimming, or laughing and being silly, or being strong and adventurous?  What might happen if you gave yourself permission to revisit that activity or that version of your Self?  Maybe at first you'll feel awkward or vulnerable.  Maybe after a couple of tries, though, you'll reclaim something that will continue to increase your happiness.  If you try out your own happy-curious experiment, I'd be interested in hearing about it.  Leave your experiment ideas or results, or any other comments, below on this blog site.

And here's an article about my Aunt Elna and Uncle Olaf and the restaurant that they had in Florida where they lived during the winter.  Aunt Elna & Uncle Olaf's Restaurant

Wishing you a sweet start to your day,

       Nancy ☕🍰

Another photo of Cake for Breakfast (Feb. 19, 22)

Thanks to my friend, Laura, for finding this!